homeownership.

Since now is the time to buy a house, or so everyone and there brother talks about, my sister and I are looking into becoming apart of the world of homeowners. It freaks me out because I'm really not sure how permanent my residence is going to be here in Grand Rapids. There are so many things that go into buying a house, and I've just gotten rid of the stress of school and picking up a new one. I'm really freaking out. It could be because I'm hormonal right now but this is all making my head spin. I think part of it is because of all the help that I'm going to have to receive from my mother. I'm very lucky that I have parents who are so willing to do whatever they can to help me out in any way possible...at the same time, I feel bad asking for help and borrowing that much money. I almost want to put it off for around six months, have some time to be able to get my finances in order then save some money for a down payment and perhaps new things for the house. It's very exciting because it would be something that is ours but this would be a huge responsibility. The monthly mortgage would be around $700 a month which is doable with my sis and I but more than we are used to spending because we are now going to have to worry about taxes and bills...more scary stuff! Plus, I'm so used to the amazing house that I grew up in, my mother's dream house basically and nothing else really compares to that...in our price range anyways. I want so many things but with how young I am and not being in my career quite yet, a dream house is not possible. I am balls deep in credit card debt and it's going to be a hot minute before I am able to pick myself out of it. Dammit! As I've discussed my debt issues with others I feel better. I was talking with a co worker and she laughed when I said that I was embarrassed...she was like really? Like that's the worse thing that you could have right now and let me tell you we've all been there! I guess only the future will tell.

starting anew?

So, now that I am officially done with school, it is like a shift has occurred in my life. I no longer feel like laying in bed all day long and only getting out when I absolutely had to. I have quit smoking cigarettes...going on six days and I don't even have to urge to have one. I haven't bought a bag of pot in over two weeks which has not happened since I tried quitting earlier this year. My alcohol consumption is still as it always is but baby steps. Can't cut all my bad habits out all at once or I probably wouldn't have anything to write about...anything interesting anyway. I am however replacing bad habits with good ones starting tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited about it. Or motivated for that matter. It is so crazy because this is the first time that I've felt that I can do it and succeed. I want to lose 15lbs. As previously mentioned, I never wanted to get out of bed therefore the munchies I had with a combination of the comfort food had no where to go but my ass. And there it set up camp...along with its BFF cellulite. Gross. Now, I'm 5'2 and 135lbs. My weight has been fluctuating for the past few years but I'm ready to focus on maintaining this healthy lifestyle. The only thing that is going to get in the way that I can see right now is my partying because Lord knows I like to party...and I'm good at it.
Anyways enough rambling. My point is that I have just ended this chapter of my life, the past five years, and I'm really not sure what's in store for the future. After graduating from high school I knew I was going onto college. Now that I'm done with college, I have no idea what is going to happen next. I mean obviously I'm going to start a career and hopefully one where I can write but other than that I don't know. Before I knew I was going to Grand Valley and moving to the west side of Michigan. Now? I'm here in Grand Rapids but it's not permanent. So crazy! But for now before I start my professional career, I want to have a little bit of fun. A fun loving free spirited summer romance? I've always wanted to do that. I'm not looking for any of that right now though. I'm way too happy with where my life is headed right now to throw a boy into the mix to throw off my groove.
My week is going to be crazy since I'm working 9 shifts but I hope to be able to keep this diet in check and stick with it. I'm hoping I can drop the weight by the time fourth of july comes around. wish me luck!