Some times I really wish that I didn't get so crazy over men. I get a crush and it consumes my every thought. I can't sleep. I can't eat. Over what? A freaking crush! There isn't even anything going on with Adam and I yet. Like I can barely talk to him unless we're out at Applebee's. Even then, I don't really interact with him much. Want to change that. I'm not mad that he knows I have a crush on him but it's the way he found out, like we are in middle school. Like Michelle really went about it wrong...and talked to him while she was at work! Matt knows as well. Which he's my friend and I don't really care but I do know that he has a big mouth. I just really don't want this to get all over work. I really don't need people getting all up in my business.
Michelle flat out went up to him at work asking if he liked anyone at work then proceeded to say that someone has a crush on him but she couldn't tell him who. And I guess he was like ok? So she gave him a clue-she has the same name as someone else here which I'm basically the only one who shares a name and who it could be. There are two Tiffany's but they both have BFs and there are two Jessica's but both of them have BF's as well. So then it leaves the two Taylor's. The other Taylor is 20 and stupid lol so then that leaves me. He figured it out pretty quick especially because I texted him the other day to come and hang out with us. I guess he asked Matt about me :) which is exciting but I really hate the fact that there are middle men and that Matt is now involved. Not that I don't love Matt, he just doesn't have the best track record with keeping his mouth shut. Anyways, it's a good thing because he's "feeling me" which I hate that that is a term that is used because Michelle said the same thing. I'm glad I talked to Matt though because at least I got more of a concrete answer other than he thinks you're cute. I guess I have this irrational fear that people aren't looking out for me and not going to help me out in the best way. Like what if Matt purposely fucks things up for Adam and I because things didn't work out with us. These are the crazy things that go through my head. It's insane really. Ugh! I really do need to just focus on the good and not the stressful. He likes me. That's good for right now. Just sucks that we are in this limbo area.
At the end of the day though I'm really glad he knows so maybe he can put forth some effort too. We shall see. He's "feeling" me and I'm "feeling" (barf) him. I am going home in three weeks though so that's going to put everything on hold. I'm just hoping we get the chance to hang out before that. Which I'm sure we will. But like actually hang out, not like a group after work thing. I would like to start getting to know him a little better. Patience!!
