So I can get a tad bit cray cray when I like someone. It's gotten more intense as I've gotten older which is weird. I don't know that I've ever been laid back about crushes but I know that things have become more intense as I've grown older. It's probably because feelings get more intense? I am not sure but I know that I really do like Adam. I can't help but think that the intense feelings I've been having are because I've been alone for so long. Do I just want someone?? I'm pretty good about not just dating someone due to convenience. I don't just date to date. If I wanted a boyfriend, I would have a boyfriend. I want something more. Maybe it's all the romantic comedies that I watch but I'm looking for something magical. Not the movie magical. But the real life passion. I tell myself sometimes that I set my standards too high but at the same time I should! I am a great person (with many flaws) but I bring so many things to the table any man would be lucky to have me. That isn't a bad attitude to have. I am not going to just settle because I'm lonely. As for Adam...get off your ass dude! I have been making an effort and I'm not getting a whole lot back. Meet me half way. I don't mind asking him to hang out or do things but jeez! Ask me to do shit too. You know that I like you. You have a win win situation. It takes all of the pressure off asking me out. I will say yes! It's just all going a lot slower than I would like it to go because I'm super super impatient. Matt even said that it was going to take some time which is fine but not this much time. I'm going home for two weeks on Wednesday and I would really love to have some sort of texting relationship with him because I know I'm going to be thinking about about him. But I just don't see it happening which is fine because I'll be busy with seeing everyone that I want to see and enjoying my time off but still. I would really love to see where this shit is going. I don't want to waste my time.
We hung out just the two of us a week and a half ago and it was amazing. I love that we were able to spend time the two of us without having people around and we talked but of course I also want more. He seems like a great person with baggage which at this point who doesn't have baggage. I know that I have a ton of it. But the overall picture is worth it. He needs to not be so shy. I'm shy too but c'mon. Meet me half way at least. Last Friday we got really drunk and he doesn't remember which was good. He smacked my ass at one point which I don't even remember why. He probably doesn't even remember. Then I got feisty when he gave me a beer. But he gave me the beer he took a sip out of which is fine but of course I had to be like hey can I get a new beer? I mean you did just smack my ass lol I don't mind drinking after him but c'mon man. I deserve a new beer. I want to come off as a girl that doesn't take any shit. The great thing about movinrg to a new place where people don't really know me is I had the opportunity to start somewhat fresh. No one fucks with me at work. Or in general. Which people really didn't before but here it's on a different level. They don't know that I'm really a softie. But I can't let them know that lol
Anyways...I just would really like to know whether or not this crush is going to go somewhere so I don't waste my time. We get along very well and he makes me laugh. And at the end of the day that's all that matters. <3
